I have wanted to write this story for a long time. It will not be a complete story, because the complete story would be a book. Part of this story has been in local newspapers and another part has inspired numerous websites.
This is a true story, about someone I love very much. For legal reasons, I will use first names and last initial only to protect the innocent. (I've always wanted to say that)
My wife Barb (The Barbkat), grew up in Cleveland, Ohio. She had a normal upbringing with two parents and one brother (John). Her childhood was happy, with memories of family vacations in Florida, California, Nevada, and numerous other vacation spots. She always boasted that she had been born early, while her parents were on vacation in South Carolina, and had slept in a dresser drawer for lack of a crib.
Barb was proud of her Dad's Lithuanian heritage. Dad was older and most of his family had passed on. But her Mom came from a large family that got together every year in Pymatuning, Pennsylvania. They rented cabins, cooked out, swam in the lake. Aunts, uncles, cousins, all together for a yearly family reunion. Everything was about the family for Barb's Mom.
Barb and I were married in 1980. Barb's Mom got to see all three of her grandchildren before she passed away in 1985 of cancer. The funeral drew family from all over the United States. And as sometimes happens when large families get together, there was an argument. Then a fight the night of the funeral. And a split in the family that exists to this day.
We never really understood the true reasons for the argument that tore the family apart. Barb's Mom had always been the one to bring the family together, but she was gone. Barb would always have her memories. She would always know where she came from. At least she thought she did.
One day in May 1994 would change all that.
I had always wanted a tattoo. But could never decide what I wanted drilled into me for life. But in April 1994 we both took the plunge. Tattoos can be addicting (Barb now has 19 tattoos), so a month later Barb was ready for more. When we arrived at my friend's house (where the tattoo party was taking place), we received a phone message from our oldest daughter. Barb's brother John had called our house. He had gotten a phone call from someone claiming to be their sister. She claimed both Barb and John had been adopted.
Keep in mind that this was 1994. Cell phones were not common. You actually had to leave a message and wait for someone to call back. Very primitive. When Barb called her brother back, he had gone to a police function. He didn't call her back until 1 am. He related the phone call from the supposed "sister",who seemed to know a lot about the family. She knew names, she knew where they grew up. She said she knew who and where their birth mother was.
And she said there wasn't just the 3 of them. She said there was 9 kids!
Part 2- The Stripper
Needless to say, Barb was skeptical of this woman's story. To be 31 years old and not know she was adopted? But this "sister" did know things that made her story sound legit. So the next day, Barb and her brother went to visit their Dad. At first he denied it all. But after some questioning, he admitted that it was true.
Both Barb and John had been adopted as infants. And part of the adoption agreement had been that no one would ever know. Stories about their births were created. A scar from an earlier surgery was now a cesarean section scar.
Even more surprising, the Aunts and Uncles knew and went along with the story. Barb and John would come to understand the reason for the secrecy.
Dad knew their biological mother and father. It would be another shock.Pay attention, because this gets complicated:The man they had known as "Dad", was not a blood relation,but the woman they had known as "Mom" was actually their aunt.Their biological father was a man they had known as Uncle Jim (Mom's brother)Their biological mother was a woman named Vivian
(for this story I will refer to the biological mother and father as Vivian and Jim)
Jim and his father worked with a traveling carnival that toured the southeastern states and was based in South Carolina.
Barb and John had known Grandpa and knew the carnival story. But they knew nothing of Vivian. Vivian was born in Pennsylvania. She had come from a broken home. At some point, she met Jim and Grandpa and became a stripper in the carnival. They toured the south during the summer months. In the winter she danced in burlesque shows in the north (Cleveland, Pennsylvania, etc). In her spare time she had babies.
After learning "The Truth" , Barb immediately contacted her new sister Joye. They talked on the phone and exchanged letters. Two weeks after learning about her, Barb drove to Alabama to meet Joye. Joye was different, but obviously her sister. They spent the weekend talking. Joye had not been adopted. Instead she had lived with Vivian, in foster homes, and in an orphanage. She was bitter about her childhood. But she had tried to keep track of her siblings.
Doreen was their oldest sister. She was born in 1955.
Her father's name was Rudy L. No one had seen Doreen since 1974.
John (the brother Barb had always known) was born in 1958 in Ohio.
His father was Jim.
Joye was born in 1960 in Florida,
her father was also Jim, and she was living in Alabama.
Barb was born in 1962 in South Carolina. She really had slept in a drawer.
Her birth name was Katherine.
John F (yes, 2 sons named John) was born in 1963 in Pennsylvania.
His father was also Jim. John F was currently in California. In prison.
Marie was born in 1965 in Indiana.
Her father was Charles L. Marie had been adopted. Her whereabouts were unknown.
Ralph was born in 1967 in Pennsylvania.
His father was Jim. Ralph also had been adopted and Joye didn't know where he was either.
Chip was born in 1972 in Pennsylvania. His father was Carroll B.
Chip was currently in Iowa in prison.
The youngest was Pete. Pete was born in 1974.
Also born in Pennsylvania, same father (Carroll B.), and was also in prison. But he was in Illinois, and his crime was murder.
9 kids, 4 different fathers, 3 in prison, 3 missing.
To say that Barb's head was spinning would be an understatement.
Part 3- Meeting the family
At this point in the story, I want to stop and say a couple of things. The first is that Barb wanted me to write this story, because she didn't think she could put her thoughts into words the way she wanted to. The problem with that, is I couldn't see her feelings during this time. I could see the emotional roller coaster she was on, and we talked about everything that was going on, but I can only write what I think she was feeling. And it changed from day to day.
Obviously that day in May when she learned the truth was a shock. It's as if her life was a lie. Her family history was now different. Her medical history was different.
Barb's first phone call to her birth mother Vivian was somewhat uneventful. Vivian sounded genuinely happy to hear from Barb. But she didn't sound like you would think a person would, that finally heard from the daughter she gave up 31 years ago.
Barb was happy to meet Joye. They became friends. But there was sadness as Joye told her about her childhood. And there were questions about the other siblings that Joye couldn't answer.
A couple weeks after meeting joye in Alabama, Barb and the kids drove to Iowa to meet Vivian and her current husband Boyd. (I had started a new job shortly before all this and was unable to take time off of work).
Once again, the visit was pleasant. It was nice. But odd. Vivian was nonchalant about giving the kids up for adoption. It was something she had to do. Jim had insisted. She had made some attempt to locate the kids over the years with no success.
Also on Barb trip to Iowa, she got to meet her brother Chip in prison. Barb had never been to a prison before. Chip was nice, but he was weird. Later Barb would find out that Chip was really weird. Chip was in prison for breaking and entering. He broke into a woman's apartment to steal her underwear. And Chip had friends in prison. Friends that called him Angel.
I can tell you that I was not as supportive as I should have been through out this time. I didn't know how to handle this either. I had just gained a bunch of in-laws, and to be honest, I wasn't sure I wanted them.
While Barb was doing all of the previously mentioned traveling, she was also trying to locate her birth father Jim, and her missing siblings. She went to the Adoption Network meetings. She searched the internet. She called people and sent letters.
Jim's last address had been in Florida. After searching and calling and sending letters, she finally found what seemed to be a promising lead. She sent a registered letter and received a call from Jim's current wife. Jim had suffered a stroke. He could not come to the phone. But his wife Clara relayed the conversation to him. Yes he was glad to hear from Barb. And he was relieved. Relieved that the truth was finally known, and that Barb had accepted it and him.
Barb and her "Dad" traveled to Florida in October to visit with Jim (her birth father).
In November 1994, Barb was contacted by an adoption search group. They knew where her sister Marie was! Marie had listed her info with them and was looking for her siblings. They had her address and would relay a message. But they didn't need to. Marie lived in Cleveland, not 10 miles from Barb's childhood home. Barb drove there immediately. Marie was not home, so Barb left a letter in her front door.
For Christmas dinner 1994, we had 25 people. We had my family. And our family. We had Barb's family. And we had members of Barb's new family including Vivian and her husband Boyd, and Marie and husband and her 4 kids . Yes, it was strange, but everyone got along and we've done it every year since.
Part 4- Extending the family- a lot
It was clear to me at this point, that Barb had taken over her late Mom's position as the family organizer. Good or bad, the new family was here to stay. That's the way Mom would have done it, so that's how Barb did it. But even so, I have to give Barb a lot of credit. Our friends must have thought we were crazy accepting all these people into our family. But family is family. That's the way we both grew up.
Vivian and Boyd stayed at our house for 2 weeks that first Christmas. And when they wrecked their truck in a snow storm driving home, Barb drove to Indiana to pick them up and then drove them home to Iowa. When their truck was repaired, Barb and I drove back to Indiana, then to Iowa to return it to them. We never gave it a second thought.
But accepting them all into the family is one thing. How to deal with them is something else altogether. The Mom and Dad that raised Barb, would always be Mom and Dad. Vivian would always be Vivian- the birth mother.
Marie, like Joye, looked a lot like Barb(even though they had different fathers). Marie had been born in Indiana but her father was from Cleveland. So when Vivian and Charles L. split up, he took Marie with him. Unfortunately he then left Marie with some neighbors. When he didn't return, Marie went into foster care and was adopted. Her childhood, like Joye's, left a lot to be desired. As a young woman she worked as an exotic dancer for a while before meeting her present husband.
In the summer of 1995, Marie, John, Joye, and their families gathered at our house for a cookout. It would be the most kids (4) gathered together in 20 years.
Barb continued to correspond with Chip by letter and phone. But as I said before, Chip was one weird dude. So at one point , Barb stopped accepting his phone calls.
Pete was in prison for murder. He had assisted his girlfriend's mother in killing her husband. We aren't sure what his role in the crime was. He wrote one letter to Barb asking for money and spoke of his crime in a way that suggested he had no remorse. Barb never wrote back.
John F was in prison in California (drug related charges). Barb did not have any contact with him until later.
Vivian and Boyd came back to visit in November 1995 and stayed with us for about 3 months. They finally moved to Ohio in the spring of 1996.
Barb and Joye continued to search for Ralph and Doreen. Barb went so far as to call talk shows hoping that they would do a story and make the search public. They were able to get Ralph's adopted last name from Catholic Services (who had handled the adoption). After searching phone listings, they located Ralph in Florida and contacted him. Ralph, Joye, and Barb (and families) were able to meet in the summer of 2000 in Alabama.
In truth, there are many pieces of this puzzle that will never be found. But the important missing piece for now was Doreen. Doreen was the oldest of the kids. She was 19 years old when Pete had been born. Doreen had come to Pennsylvania in 1974 to visit Vivian and her siblings(the siblings that were still in Vivian's care). Doreen had a child of her own. A little girl just 2 years old.
Doreen stayed for a bit and then headed back to South Carolina, and was never heard from again.
Part 5- The terrible truth
In 2002, the family would finally find out something about Doreen. A forensic scientist from Australia that also happened to be using the Adoption Network, had seen an article and made the connection. She contacted Vivian and suggested she read this particular article to see if this was the Doreen we were searching for.
The article was about Doreen. The search was over.
After visiting her mother and her remaining brothers in Pennsylvania, Doreen went back to South Carolina. She went back to the closest thing to a home she had ever known. Doreen had spent a good part of her childhood in Florence County. And she had friends that she had stayed with there. There was a couple that was like family to her as she was growing up. But Doreen was troubled. She had a 2 year old daughter and was pregnant with her second child. She was not married, and the baby's father wanted no part of a wife and family.
Failing to find a place to stay until her baby was born, Doreen decided to leave Florence County South Carolina. Unfortunately she accepted a ride from a man she thought she could trust. A man that had grown up in the area, and like her, had hung around the carnival.
I'm not going to describe what happened next. I will only say that Doreen died trying to protect her 2 year old daughter Robin.
The following website seems to have a fairly accurate account of the life of the man that killed Doreen and little Robin. There are many sites about him. But be prepared. Pee Wee Gaskins was one of the most evil people to ever walk this earth.
http://crime.about.com/od/serial/p/gaskins.htm (The story of Doreen is in part 2)
Doreen and Robin's remains had been located in 1976. But there was no family to be found. No one had ever filed a missing persons report. No one to buy a headstone. Barb spent some time trying to locate their graves. She was unable to do that, but got the attention of the local Florence newspaper which then published a story about Barb and her search for her family. Our local paper also picked up the story and interviewed Barb. I could post the article and photo here, but I think you can imagine what she looked like, having found out that she would never meet her oldest sister.
The search was over. And this time Barb came up empty handed.
Final thoughts
It is interesting to note that during Mom's funeral, there were at least 2 instances of Aunts or Uncles "slipping up" and almost letting the adoption secret out of the bag. Also interesting is that the fight after the funeral was between Jim and one of his brothers. Barb's name was brought up in the argument. Dad stopped the fight by pulling out his gun and ordering the brother out of his house. No one will say exactly what the argument was about.
Barb's adopted Dad always got along just fine with birth father Jim. Dad also gets along with Vivian just fine.
Vivian's answers to many questions are vague. She can recite facts and dates but never speaks of her feelings throughout her life. When asked if she ever searched for her kids that were adopted, her answer was: well, I did try to find them, but I figured they were better off where they were. Good point.
When asked if she remembers Pee Wee Gaskins, she says she is not sure.
Jim passed away on June 26th 1996. (Which also happens to be Barb's adopted Dad's birthday) Jim had been admitted into the hospital in May and had been close to death. Barb, John, and Joye went to see him in the hospital and he made what the doctors called a miraculous recovery. The second time there would be no such recovery.
At this time, we have not located Doreen and Robin Michelle Dempsey's graves.
Pee Wee Gaskins got the electric chair in 1982.
John ,his wife, and daughter live about 30 miles from us.
Joye , her husband, and kids live in Alabama. Joye is in the Army Reserve on active duty.
John F. is divorced. After serving his prison sentence, he moved around a bit. He currently lives about 1 mile from us. We see him frequently.
Marie, her husband, and kids now live about 10 miles from us. We don't see them often.
Ralph, his wife and son live in Florida. We have only met them once, but we keep in touch. (Despite the age difference and southern accent, Ralph and John look identical)
Chip has been paroled. He has married and lives in Iowa. He came to visit in 2005 and seems to be trying to turn his life around.
Pete is still in prison. He will be eligible for parole in 2013.
As I stated in the beginning, this is only part of the story. To tell the complete story, I would have to sit down with Vivian and each remaining sibling and get their life story. That just isn't possible at this point. I also feel the need to point out something that you may or may not have picked up on throughout this story. I have made reference to it. It's something that is more mind boggling to me than the story itself.
These 9 children that Vivian gave birth to, these 9 brothers and sisters, have never been gathered together at one time. They have never sat around the dinner table, been in the same house, or even the same state, all at once.
Never.
Martin Stewart Niederer
